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Do you see what I see?

I know there’s going to be a lot of RWA talk this week, and I can’t wait to hear the different perspectives on the magnificent chaos that inhabited the San Francisco Marriott this past week. Despite the persistent debates over who should and shouldn’t attend the conference, the fact that so many different representatives of the genre and the industry attend the conference is a revelation of how intertwined the online community has become.

Most of the time I believe that everything I write is projected out into some foggy ether that a few people happen to stumble into. I am still surprised when people comment on my reviews or columns. Maybe it’s that way for everyone, but it tends to make me feel like more of a bystander than a central player. Which, as someone who is very outspoken, might seem a bit paradoxical. But it’s a function, I think, of the ever-fluctuating boundaries of the online genre community. Intellectually I know that this really is an ongoing conversation among a very diverse collection of voices. A conversation that, despite all the scandals and dramas, creates and reflects a profoundly symbiotic relationship among all of its participants.

But emotionally it sometimes feels like a complex negotiation of rival gangs, with the threat of ostracism and/or retaliation for crossing a boundary you didn’t even know existed. I understand why people feel that it’s too dangerous to get involved, even though I believe that these conversations are important, crucial even, to the process of building and maintaining the public realm of genre Romance. That no matter how insignificant we might think some issues, no matter how annoying we might find certain reviews, no matter how hotly we debate the wisdom of critical attention to Romance, we’re all already engaged in the process of building and maintaining a common infrastructure in which everything we do and say matters.

It matters in part, of course, because we’ve all been brought together through a shared love of reading, and more particularly of reading Romance. But even beyond that, I think it all matters because what is being created over and over again, through books, blogs, messageboards, websites, and the like, is what free speech dorks like me call a “marketplace of ideas,” which is basically a fancy way of describing a public space in which people exchange views on the things that matter to them. Because books matter to us, reading matters to us, and ultimately, sharing that experience matters to us. Romance holds some of our most profound values — love, forgiveness, redemption, integrity, happiness, and justice – at its center, so it’s no surprise that it should invoke passionate reactions. It concerns the creation of a more perfect union, so to speak, through the love match of the central couple, so why should we be surprised that it brings so many people together. Whether we like it or not, whether we’re in concert with our views or not, everyone reading and participating in this online experience already comprises a community. All that remains for us is to define and refine our community experience.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’d like to see more of in this community, and my primary wish is for more active disagreement. Not screaming and yelling, insulting and censoring, but the passionate exchange of differing views, with an equally passionate desire to understand the nature and limits of those differences. Because our differences define us as much as our similarities, and our own views gain significance and depth most powerfully when they are in play with competing ideas. Beyond that, I think that the easier these discussions become, the less animosity will erupt when strongly divergent opinions share the same public space. And ultimately, the more interesting our points of agreement will be, because we will feel empowered to push past any circumstantial disagreements to deeper levels of understanding and conversation. Which, in turn, may actually make reading even more fun.

So what about you? What qualities would you like to see more of in the online Romance community, and what would you like to see us become in five or even ten years?

*note: I have been traveling all weekend and did not realize that I am up on the same day here and at Romancing the Blog. So I have been lazy and have posted the same column here and there.

5 Responses to “Do you see what I see?”

Most of the time I believe that everything I write is projected out into some foggy ether that a few people happen to stumble into. I am still surprised when people comment on my reviews or columns.

Robin, I’ve met with other bloggers before, but it’s never so profoundly hit me that “people” read what I write as it did this past week. I had diverse conversation with a variety of people on several different topics almost entirely based on content we’d read online. While amazing and exhilarating it also boggled my mind.

As for what I’d like to see, well, I realized this past week there is more variety out here than I thought. I found a few places (sites) that I didn’t know about that are going to give me a broader view of the publishing world rather than the more narrow one of only Romance. It’s part of my educational process for understanding how things work and one that I think other readers could benefit from.

by Rosie on August 4th, 2008 at 9:56 am
I know exactly what you mean, Rosie. It became very clear to me that despite the insistence of some that the online community is small, I think that perception comes from the fact that not everyone who participates does so by actively posting. I wonder, actually, if those who converse online are a minority of the “online community,” but there’s likely no way to confirm or deny that.

by Robin on August 5th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Interesting post Robin. And in the spirit of your post, I will venture to disagree somewhat.

I blog and comment on various other blogs, and I do so primarily for my personal enjoyment. Actually it goes further than that - it’s for enjoyment AND to escape other things such as the stresses of a challenging job.

I have become more and more consumed in this rather comforting online world in which people may disagree but generally do so about matters that are of little importance in the grand scheme of things. To that extent, my involvement in the online world reflects the reasons that I read romance novels: for my own entertainment and pleasure.

You’ve mentioned that to you the online community feels like a negotiation between rival gangs. Well, it doesn’t to me. I’m more often struck by how terribly anxious the majority of participants are not to cause offence. Of course, there are always provacteurs but the majority of commenters are really frightfully polite to everyone and if people feel they’ve been interpreted as criticising or getting at someone else, more often than not they’re horrified and profuse apologies ensue. Beyond that there’s a sort of ‘Team Romance’ mindset (lots of encouraging high-fiving going on) which I find simultaneouly rather sweet and a bit irritating. To my mind the online romance community is generally an incredibly supportive and welcoming one.

Perhaps this is what you mean when you say you’d like to see ‘more active disagreement’? I can understand that - it can be a bit too ‘cosy’ at times. But I think the reality is that many people in this community more value being part of a consensus, rather than wanting to contribute controversial views to a ‘marketplace of ideas’.

I’ve noticed that many bloggers will specifically comment that they are steering clear of a particular controversy (usually elsewhere than in the forum where the controversy is being played out). This sort of stated refusal to be part of a particular argument is perhaps a measure of that desire to be part of a consensus.

by Tumperkin on August 5th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Interesting post. After years of blogging I do still feel on the outside a lot of the time, and I don’t know why that is. Part of it is about me, but part of it isn’t. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I don’t just do romance, or don’t just do any other genre but do a mix of the two, but I guess I have gotten to the point where I just blog because I enjoy it and I still get up in the morning looking to see if anyone has posted a comment on my blog and I am thrilled when there is a comment and a little disappointed if there isn’t.

I do avoid the controversies, simply because I hate confrontation at the best of time, but also because there is something of a jump on the bandwagon kind of mentality around at times.

by Marg on August 7th, 2008 at 4:32 am
Tumperkin: many bloggers will specifically comment that they are steering clear of a particular controversy … perhaps a measure of that desire to be part of a consensus.

Perhaps the *comment* is a signal of consensus or taking sides, but the actual disengagement can have other reasons. The big things that drive me away from discussions are:

1. I think a conversation would go better in person. (Maybe I’m not good at conversing in a medium that removes affect.)

2. I’m tired of that particular argument, or don’t think it’ll go anywhere, or already know the participants’ views and don’t see anyone budging.

3. I don’t enjoy certain styles of argument. For example, if someone seems determined to have the last word, I get skeptical because I suspect the argument may be motivated by competition rather than conversation, or being right rather than questioning. Likewise, I’m turned off by seeing commenters follow each other to other blogs and continue the war on a new front, or continue to make posts and comments on their own blogs as belated jabs. Call me conflict averse–it’s partly true–but more importantly, there are certain modes of discourse that reduce my faith in the sincerity of the discussion. I’m probably wrong some of the time, but it adds to my feeling of What’s the point? I usually hang in as long as I feel there are *both* sides of what Robin called “the passionate exchange of differing views, with an equally passionate desire to understand the nature and limits of those differences”

4. If the fun goes out of it, I’m not interested any more. Blogging is not my career or my life, so there’s a certain amount of effort and pain I won’t put myself through. Perhaps that’s a variation on your point about why we’re online.

5. Sometimes when things go wrong in a discussion there’s no fixing it, but as long as people keep trying, that topic draws readers and keeps fanning the flame. I’d rather walk away before I get irreparably annoyed with someone. Maybe that’s not wanting to break the consensus; I’d call it knowing my own temperament and preserving community by taking a breather.

Robin: emotionally it sometimes feels like a complex negotiation of rival gangs, with the threat of ostracism and/or retaliation for crossing a boundary you didn’t even know existed.

I understand the feeling of the “boundary you didn’t even know existed”. Sometimes casual blog posts are parsed way beyond their original intentions, and I think that tends to shut down conversation by turning every word into a potential minefield.

However, I may just not “get out” enough (surf widely enough), or pay enough attention to comments, but I’m only aware of a couple of “gangs” that seem not to get along–I mean chronically, rather than situationally. I don’t think that kind of thing is surprising, or specific to romance bloggers. This comment better fits my perceptions:

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’d like to see more of in this community, and my primary wish is for more active disagreement.

I don’t see the romance community as a snakepit. If anything there’s sometimes a surprising amount of agreement; I even think there’s some groupthink, with one review or opinion setting the tone for every review or comment that follows. I think that also (or especially) happens with a lot of discussions that focus on the community–it’s like a snowball of outrage growing on either side of the issue, and ironically it’s those discussions that are explicitly about community disagreements that I often feel don’t end up in a fruitful place because the outrage snowballs so fast.

I wonder, actually, if those who converse online are a minority of the “online community,” but there’s likely no way to confirm or deny that.

I think that’s a cert. There’s a jillion people who read but relatively few who connect their reading to the online world and even fewer participating. The website owners that I know say that lurkers by far outnumber posters. I suppose romance could be different, but you could probably confirm for DearAuthor by comparing total visitors to the number posting/commenting.

by RfP on August 12th, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Do you see what I see?

5 Responses to “Do you see what I see?”

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