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The Gabbers  JMC"JMC is fascinated by the politics of romance reading and writing, and by the genre’s position in the publishing and media worlds." read more...
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Well I think I’m going out of my head…
« The Trouble with Triangles | Home | 02/28/2010 Grab Bag Winner »  …I think I’m going out of my mind Oh Little Anthony, if you only knew. Having read a slew of werewolf and vamp books over the winter I’ve been ruminating on the whole mind meld thing. That whole, “I know what you are thinking” and can be in your head any-time-I want-to sort of relationship. While reading a book where one or both of the protags can “read” the others thoughts, did you ever for one moment contemplate what it would be like if your significant other could read your mind? I have. *gulp* A few month’s ago we had a very scary 48 hours waiting for tests having to do with my husband’s health. He’s absolutely fine, but for those two days I was pretty freaked. During that time I had a thought. A single thought skitter across my mind that scared me, tantalized me and made me shake my head in wonder about how the human mind works. I’ve accepted the moment for what it was, a reaction to the stress I was under, but I also wondered what my husband’s reaction would have been if he had permanent residence in the corners of my mind. Just hypothetically thinking here, if someone can read your thoughts do all the attendant emotions trot along with the thought? Can you decipher one stream of thoughts from another? I’m usually thinking about five things at once. Would my emotional distress tag along with my not so kind or gentle thought? The thing is my traitorous thought was pretty tame. OTOH, if my beloved was in my head it would have hurt his feelings terribly. The next level of this wholly useless-exercise-that-keeps-me-awake-at-night-trying-to-figure-it-out is this, did I mean that thought? Was it my subconscious working to reject my fear and anxiety over GG’s health or did that thought mean…nothing? I mean if a tree is sometimes just a tree, and a table is sometimes just a table, maybe a thought is sometimes just, a thought. Everything doesn’t have to be about something. While my hamster was running wildly on the wheel over that idea, I realized how much I would NOT like anyone else in my head. Ever. Under any circumstances. For one thing I have a pretty much constant stream of internal dialogue. Most days it’s a full-time job keeping it from leaking out of my mouth. I don’t need another entity opening drawers and closets in my head and seeing how much junk I haven’t thrown out yet. It’s the cerebral equivalent of being a pack rat. Go figure. Years ago when I first started reading Christine Feehan’s ‘Dark’ books I thought it might be pretty cool to be able to communicate and put thoughts or send thoughts to GG’s head. That idea had pretty much lost luster under the burden of practicality, read real life and kids. About that same time Mel Gibson’s movie, WHAT WOMEN WANT came out and it presented a whole new idea I’d never thought of. We all remember Mel’s scene with Marisa Tomei when she was able to convey, via her thoughts, what she wanted/needed while they were doing the mattress mambo. So maybe sending thoughts wasn’t so very horrible after all. I mean, it might be very convenient without any of the embarrassment of explaining oneself. At that point I was re-evaluating, again. Sharing thoughts might not be so bad. In fact I thought of another advantage. How convenient would it be for GG to know exactly what to pick up at the grocery store or dry cleaners? Or, he would know EXACTLY how annoyed I really am when he shaves his head in a bathroom that I’ve just cleaned. What could be better than direct communication without all the bothersome conversation and emotion? Then I remembered two very important points. There’s no censoring and gentling a request or an annoyance. No nuances right? And, 24-hour access. I don’t know about you, but I like to vacuum and empty the garbage before company drops by, not to mention I really don’t need someone with me when I’m shaving my legs. Sure some of the stories we read have the characters having blocks or shields, but can you really turn off access to your brain/consciousness once someone has moved in and put their feet up? Sort like you can’t not remember what it was like to each chocolate ice cream, can you? Fortunately, I’m neither furry during the full moon or craving a B-positive shake for dinner, so for the time being I’ll keep my thoughts to myself and edit what goes out. Although, if I know my husband he will eventually find his way here and we will be having one of those “messy” real-life conversations about my “thought”. This entry was posted by Rosie on Thursday, February 25th, 2010 at 6:01 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. 18 Responses to “Well I think I’m going out of my head…”Leave a Comment |
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February 25th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I don’t think I’d want anyone to read my thoughts. And I certainly wouldn’t want to read theirs. What if they were thinking bad things about me, it would hurt my feelings. I’d much rather not know.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:56 am
I would not like it if someone could read my mind and I would HATE reading other peoples’ minds. Everyones’ thoughts should be a private thing.
February 25th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I have enough trouble keeping track of my own thought and emotions – I certainly do not need to be able to access other peoples. I would hate for someone to be able to read my mind. Imagine having to constantly moniter your thought as well as your mouth…Lord the stress that would go through the roof. I was raised with the edict: “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing!” Now, my Mama never said I couldn’t think mean things, just not say ‘em. I have held my tongue on may occassions – but, oh boy, the thought that have flased thru my mind – terrible! LOL
February 25th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
If my hubby could read my thoughts, that would definitely be a “gulp” moment for me, too. I agree with the earlier commenters here–I wouldn’t want someone reading my thoughts, and I really wouldn’t want to be reading anyone else’s, either. Sometimes it’s hard enough just to say and do the right things. Gee, if everyone has to think only the right things, that could be rough.
February 25th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
I would not want my hubby to read my thoughts and I don’t want to be able to read anyone else’s either.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
I definitely wouldn’t want anyone reading my thoughts. The cons far outweigh the pros, I’m afraid. I don’t think anyone would want to be in my head (especially during that time of the month!)
February 25th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
No way no how would I like anyone to be able to read my mind and same token I would not want to know what others are thinking. Sometimes too much knowledge……..
February 25th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Linda Henderson, I’m with you on the “what if they were thinking bad things about me…” There’s people that I love and adore who I do occasionally get on my nerves and an errant, “Please shut up!” my cross my brain waves. It would be so unfortunate to pick that up from someone else.
Patsy Hagen, sometimes I’d love to know for a half second what someone else is thinking like in a job interview for instance. But I sure wouldn’t want permanent residence in anyone’s head.
Kimberley Coover, Yes! I already have a full time job keeping my own stuff from tripping off my tongue, never mind anyone else’s.
GSM, the thing is I’m pretty out there and open with my husband, but my thought when he was sick would probably not be much in someone else’s book, but I know his feelings would be hurt and who needs that pressure. Although I know if I asked him, my husband would tell me he wants to know everything, but I know that’s not really true. I’ve seen his eyes glaze over when I’m rhapsodizing about some book.
Natalie’s Mama, have you ever had your spouse look at you and say “I know what you are thinking” and be completely off the mark but you can’t convince them otherwise?
maered, I don’t need an excuse to be a shrew. It just happens. Therefore, I don’t really have an early warning system. Just one more reason for a big fat NO in the mind reading/sharing column.
Joanne V.…is a dangerous thing. Tru dat!
February 25th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
I think actions count over thoughts. If we could all read each others thoughts we’d get judged on them first and can you imagine the terrible consequences of that. I don’t think it would be a question of “if thoughts could kill,” I rather think thoughts would get you killed. You can think a thought, but you can censor it and act in a checked way. We can’t always control our thoughts, but we check and censor how much of it we want to reveal in our interactions. I imagine it would be a little like having to live with Tourretts syndrome.
February 26th, 2010 at 5:02 am
Uh, yeah. Can’t have perfect thoughts every day of my life. Doesn’t happen. And I just don’t want access to someone having a temper tantrum because of something I did but it’s more about them than me.
For instance (you knew I had one), the other night I go to get on my treadmill, only the fan I have is gone, and I can’t find my iPod. As I trudged through the house looking for both items I was pissed and yelling at Bob in my head. I grumbled aloud but I didn’t go into the bedroom and dump all my anger on him. Hell, I knew my thoughts were out of control in the anger department but as long as they remain just thoughts then no one gets hurt. I swear and thump and when Bob’s not home I do it out loud cause the cats can’t tell on me but it’s more about my feelings and not about Bob.
So yes, I’m so glad Bob can’t read my mind and I’m glad I can’t read his. I’m sure there are days when the thought ‘man, I so married crazy’ creeps into his brain but he doesn’t say it out loud.
And a while ago I blogged about how happy I am that after 15 years together I still get a thrill when I see Bob’s car in the driveway meaning I get to see him any second. That’s the most important part and I got to share that with Bob. The important parts.
Oh, and Bob knows how I feel when he tells me he has to go to the hospital. I have said to him many times, ‘you’re fine’ and I’ll pack a book and sit beside him with a ‘there, there’ pat on the hand when he says he’s scared all the while knowing my man just doesn’t get the flu enough to understand what’s happening. The day the ER doc told him to go home and take Tylenol cause he had the flu? Pure gold. Having my husband look up at me and ask, ‘do we have Tylenol?’ was just icing on the cake.
Having him know my inner dialogue at the time? Divorce court.
Just saying. And I love him HUGE!!
CindyS
February 26th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
I can think of a few occasions where I knew what another person was thinking, but I definitely would not want my thoughts to be read.
February 26th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
My thought process is definitely a messy one and I don’t anyone else involved in it. The wonderful thing about having an internal editor is that you can have plenty of crazy thoughts and you annoy or upset no one with them.
February 26th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I don’t want people reading my thoughts but I wouldn’t mind reading other peoples thoughts when I want to. It will be like an on/off switch.
I’ve been told that the way I think is very unreasonable. If my husband were to read my thoughts, he might just go crazy forever. I already drive him crazy enough times when I voice my thoughts and opinions.
February 27th, 2010 at 12:25 am
First apologies for the typos. I was traveling and some of my comments (and my post) were done on my laptop and some on my phone. I’ve read back through here and can’t believe how many typos I missed. Mea culpea!
Sue A., I had some of the same thoughts as you, If we could all read each others thoughts we’d get judged on them first… that’s why I threw in my comment about wondering that if someone reads your thoughts would your intentions or motives go along with it because that might be all that would stand between me and a violent altercation with someone I was thinking about.
Cindy, I love your thought process! I adore my darling GG like you do your Bob. While GG knows me pretty well by now, there are some things I know he’s better off not hearing about. That whole story about being sick is priceless. I’m still laughing over the, “Do we have Tylenol?”
Jane, what you said is so true! I’ve been in a room of strangers, made eye contact with someone and was pretty sure I knew what they were thinking. After I gulped or sucked air in shock, I was praying they couldn’t tell what I was thinking.
Maureen, my problem is that my internal editor sometimes goes on a coffee break and leaves my unruly thoughts to their own devices. Talk about messy, you can imagine what happens if I actually speak…
Alyn Y., I can get on board to a degree being the only one who can be doing the thought reading. But boy oh boy, I might become unhinged if I “heard” something unflattering about myself or someone I was close to. I’d probably get my mind mojo taken away by the mind-reader guild or something.
February 27th, 2010 at 10:46 am
I agree with Joanne, too much knowledge IS a dangerous thing. And goes without saying I don’t want anyone reading my mind either.
February 27th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Lord help us all if anyone can ever read my thoughts! As it is now, I sometimes have to remind myself that it is not always prudent to say what’s on your mind. That doesn’t mean that I don’t do a whole lot of mental imagery while I’m standing there with a polite expression on my face : )
March 1st, 2010 at 8:00 pm
In a perfect world/relationship others would know what you wanted and needed before you had to ask for it, after all, shouldn’t others want and need to cater to our every whim? Wow, dose of reality here, if they can read your mind, you can probably read there’s too, pretty scary. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what others are thinking most of the time, as it is probably not very kind, and vice versa. NO thanks, just keeping the relationship healthy, happy, and full of chaos.
March 1st, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Helen L., can you even imagine???
Virginia, I’ve often told my husband that my internal dialogue is ‘R’ rated, or worse. Someone mentioned they were raised with the “if you can’t say something nice…” adage. I was too, but dang sometimes it’s hard to keep my yapper shut. Hence the no mind reading thing.
Dawnymae, you bring up a good point, and one I hadn’t thought of. If we could place our thought/want/desire as a whole into another person’s mind with all the intention and emotion with it and not have to explain or apologize that would be awesome. But just thoughts? Yeah, not so much.