Have you ever looked at an author’s glamour shot and wondered if she was a real human being with real problems in the real world? Do you ever wonder what might be going on in a writer’s personal life behind the scenes? Do you ever want the real scoop?

Be careful what you wish for! Because you’re about to hear the real story of what my days were like while writing Signet’s FIRST DATE, book one of The Bridesmaid Chronicles, which will be in stores June 7th.

My FIRST DATE:

I. This cute guy named Signet asked me out!

I’d never been asked to write one book before, much less two. Getting contracts had always been this really painful process involving synopses and proposals and months of waiting for an answer. So when I was invited to participate in the Bridesmaid Chronicles, I think I asked my agent whether she was kidding!

I’d also never written with other authors before. I have to admit that I was nervous! What if we all had completely different ideas of how to go about the process? What if one of us did something unforgivable with another’s character? What if things degenerated into bitch-slapping, hair-pulling or even the judicious use of firearms? *g* (They didn’t, don’t worry. Kylie Adams and Julie Kenner were so much fun to work with!)

II. But I had plans already . . .

The day my agent called me to talk about the project, I was feet up in an Allied Van Lines cardboard box. My husband and I were moving for the third time in four years (he’d gotten laid off from a “dream job” that had moved us twice already) and I was attempting suicide by bubble-wrap so that I wouldn’t have to pack again. I’m sure you understand?

Now, the first cardinal rule of being an author is that your agent/editor only calls when you are a) not there b) naked or c) attempting to kill yourself. It’s just Murphy’s Law. The second cardinal rule of being an author is that you will attempt to answer the phone anyway, even if it means streaking past the plate glass window in front of thirty contractors or dying a couple of hours later than you had planned.

The third cardinal rule of being an author is that your agent/editor almost always has you at “hello.” In this case, not only was I moving, but I had a hot date to write two other books with someone else, also very good-looking. So how did I find myself agreeing to write two more books, turning in one of them by pretty much the next Saturday?

III. So I decided to go out with both cute guys/publishers . . .

About a month later, I was sitting outside an Austin, Texas Barnes & Noble with fellow author Julie Kenner, having gotten hold of Kylie Adams by cell phone. With the traffic whizzing by in the background and Kylie on speaker, we tried to figure out what in the heck we were doing! (Yup, I’d turned in my draft by that other Saturday, but informed our editor that she might have trouble reading it because it was invisible.)

Julie and I decided we would set our books in Texas. After all, she lives in Austin, and I grew up there. We wanted to celebrate that! We honed in on Fredericksburg as the perfect town for our three of the books: FIRST DATE, FIRST DANCE and FIRST LOVE.

Then, out of the bottom of a Starbucks cup we pulled Marv Spinelli, Motor Inn Mogul. We gave him two daughters, Sydney (my first bridesmaid character) and Julia (the bride in the series). Since Marv’s butt was kinda scalded when we pulled him out of the hot coffee, we made him a cranky guy.

Kylie was writing the second bridesmaid’s story, and we decided that she was the sister of the groom. Gulp–that meant we had to now invent the groom and everyone’s parents and friends and where they lived and what they did . . . let’s just say we drank a lot of coffee that afternoon and ran up a lot of cell phone minutes!

IV. But what was I going to wear? (Pajamas and no makeup, for months.)

I began writing frantically. Because our editor figured out waaaay too soon that the ink on that ms I sent her wasn’t invisible. It just wasn’t there. Can you believe that? What bad luck, her being so perceptive . . .

I wrote in the closet (no kidding) while the moving guys loaded up the truck. I wrote in the car while we drove from Connecticut to south Florida with the cat. I wrote while gigantic trees fell outside our Jacksonville hotel window during Hurricane Frances. I wrote while cowering in the bathtub with the cat and eating two Family Size bags of Doritos out of sheer terror, and when the power went out I wrote with a flashlight and my AlphaSmart.

Then I wrote in our friends’ house (while waiting for six weeks for ours to close) surrounded by two screaming toddlers, one madly yapping French poodle, one freaked out cat and four other adults. We slept on a half-inflated air mattress and shared a bathroom with five people. I wrote while we made reservations to flee Ivan, and plotted during the very messy real estate closing, entirely unconcerned that my husband was attempting to strangle the seller.

I hit a plot glitch while the guys were unloading our stuff from the moving van into the new house, and figured out that I had to throw out about seventy pages (the ones written in total fright during Frances) because they were so terrible. I kicked boxes out of the way and set up my desk in the new house. But no sooner had I started writing again when Hurricane Jeanne descended upon us! Dogs, refrigerators and entire roofs flew by as I cowered this time under the kitchen table and focused on one of Syd and Alex’s tempestuous love scenes instead of on the tempestuous weather and our imminent demise.

By this time my activities included rocking and drooling, in addition to writing. But I’d survived the 2004 hurricane season in south Florida. My heart goes out to those who were not so lucky.

V. So how was the date? Did I have a good time?

Somehow, I’d completed FIRST DATE (and on schedule, due to abject fear of my other deadlines). My editor even liked it, now that it wasn’t printed in invisible ink. I still remember her calling once she’d read it. “Karen,” she said, “this is great–a really fun book! But how did you write such an entertaining story under the circumstances?”

I told her the same thing I’ll tell you: “I honestly don’t know.”

(Please, do not ask me how I wrote the other three books either. It’s all a blur, but my husband claims that I swung like a monkey from the iron bars of my office. Banana, anyone?)

VI. Will I see cute guy Signet again? Is it serious? And what about my mystery lover, the other guy/publisher?

Well, Signet and I have made it through our FIRST DANCE, due in stores August 2. (Stay tuned.) But I’m certainly not giving up my hot secret man! Shhhh: don’t tell anyone, but his name is Blaze. Harlequin Blaze. Isn’t that sexy?

Karen Kendall is currently awaiting the 2005 hurricane season with trepidation, but has sworn not to move again until it’s time for a nursing home. She is the author of many disasters and nine romantic comedies, five of which will be released in 2005!

Look for FIRST DATE and FIRST DANCE in the Bridesmaid Chronicles from Signet (June and August) and The Man-Handlers series from Harlequin Blaze: WHO’S ON TOP?; UNZIPPED?; and OPEN INVITATION? (Aug., Sept., Oct.) Visit her website www.KarenKendall.com for more information, fun stuff, bookmarks or bookplates.

Now, let’s talk! At the end of the month, one lucky person who has contributed to the discussion will win a signed book of choice from Karen’s back list!

Congratulations to Melissa for winning the grand prize!